MARDI BLOG!!!!

Okay, it's the blog you've all been waiting for. Before I go on talkin about my adventures with Mardi Gras, I'll explain it to those who are so far lost from the concept...


Mardi Gras is... basically the celebration of sin? Bwahah, I mean seriously! Ash Wednesday, as most are aware, is a Catholic thing- the Wednesday that starts the 40 days of Lent- a fasting for Catholics. The Tuesday before is referred to as Fat Tuesday. That's the day where most would get all there sins out there- do their worsts before fasting and giving up certain things for the 40 days. Well, Mardi Gras in the south has been made into this big tradition of parades, cake, sexy music, and lots of other sinful sinful things.

There's more to it than that I guess, but you get the gist.

SO- There are these parades that go on for weeks or whatever. People in the city get together making floats that represent their casinos, bars, organizations, and businesses, and whatever else have you.  Let's go over the wonderful things you can get in a parade. My pardons if I forget anything (to those that even know what I'm talking about)

Beads- the most common. Necklaces that EVERYONE gets!
Specialty beads- these are bawlin. Everone wants them, few get them. From ornament-sized beads, to Jager brand beads, to beads with music notes or sea horses on them, they're keepers!
Moon pie- or King cakes, are little soft cookie cakes with marshmellow in the middle. They've gotten smaller over the years and the ones this year even had a calorie count on them, which if you ask me, defeats their purpose. That whole gluttony thing and what not...
Spear- SPEARS MAN!! BAMBOO SPEARS!! Ones you impale whales with? With the traditional Mardi Gras colours-gold, green, and purple. No. Not damn blue, or pink, or whatever the hell you damn northerners make it out to be. Usually you really gotta stand out in a crowd to get one- like stand on someone's shoulders or flash someone. Fact.
Stuffed Animals- enough said. All kinds. Gotta do special tricks for these ;)
Garter belt/panties- yes. yes they do throw panties. No idea what you gotta do to get em.
paper flowers- you gotta give kisses to get these! usually decent to shabby looking men carrying large boquetttes of them, and you'll know who has the most kisses because women that love these flowers love to wear the lipsticks to put proof on the men they earned it! (like yours truly)
Coins- They make an awesome collection of bragging rights if you can get enough of them! Coloured coins usually in the traditional colours. Sometimes made specifically for businesses.
Cups- my family never had to buy cups for the kitchen until we moved north. Fill your cabinets!
There's a million other little quirky items like bouncy balls, snake whistles, and candies that you can get, but I think I covered the major ones.

Okay, so my first outting of Mardi Gras parades, I took my neighbour and her husband. They're from West Virginia and had never been to a parade. Were they in for a treat! For starters, we went to Gulfport. It was one of the smaller parades, but it didn't disappoint! Mostly we caught beads, some masks, some stuffed animals- just some small ones, nothing we had to get crazy for- and we called it a day.

We rested up until Fat Tuesday and this time it was just me and the little lady. I was super excited, seeing as how this one was to be four blocks from our apartments. Didn't have to worry about parking or anything, just walk there.

We set out at about one because that was when it was scheduled to start. Since we weren't heading toward the beginning of the path the parade takes, I assumed we had plenty of time.  I was right- but we had soooooo much extra time! Got there about ten after one, it was raining, we were freezing, sopping wet, and tired of waiting by the time the parade got to us. It was delayed due to the weather and started when the rain died down. Got to us at about... 3:00pm? Something like that. But proved very quickly to be well worth it!

Crowds of people lined the streets- some in their Mardi colours, some in extravagant ball dresses, others in... well, much like what a sleezy hooker would wear. We went to a corner that was really bare of people. We knew why- it didn't have the shelter from the rain of any business roof. Like I cared about the rain. I knew if I wanted something awesome from the parade, it was best to be alone on the sidewalk anyway. To our left, a family from New York. Our right, some rather large dude in a bikini made for someone who would wear an extra small.
Epic.

When we heard the high school marching band coming around, I whipped out my secret weapon- my sign. On it, in bright bold letters for every word it read:

                   FROM MONTANA! WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT A SPEAR!!

Because that was my goal for this year. For years I thought about that damn spear. Such pride with such a piece of .... whatever. I wanted one damnit. I was determined.

My neighbour was a little standoff-ish to the thought of the parades. She's kinda a shy gal, and screaming isn't really her forte. Little did we know, Mardi Gras would soon change this for her...

I'll sum it up, in no chronological order, we got some awesome shit. People loved the sign and if they didn't have a spear to throw at me, they made up for it with something equally as awesome.


You might also want to keep in mind, through this whole process, I did not once flash anyone. Not at all. Which I might say is a miracle.

Not only did I get a spear... I got seven. SEVEN. Three or four stuffed animals, a handful of moonpies, coins for days, five cups, bouncy balls, and beads for days! Beads up the ass! We were the only two on the street that had so man beads we filled our bag, our necks, and people kept throwing them at us! CHUCKING THEM! People on the floats were cheering for us because we were accumulating such a pile! I kissed a few men for roses, but I'd done that even as a child. It was my neighbour who got her flower- cherry popped at this parade.

But I wasn't even the crazy one! I was just holding a sign and screaming louder than ... well, those of you that know me know how loud I get. But her- SHE- was all kinds of fired up! I was impressed!! This little five nothing brunette was racking up all the points! She even got a necklace of the big beads- the BIG ones! You know those traditional round ornaments that go on Christmas trees? The big round shiny ones? Imagine that in Mardi colours as a necklace. YES. She got THOSE big ones!

Not only that, but to get another rose, she hopped over the barricade that keeps in the people to go to a float and kiss a guy. But not just any kiss- no. When that hunk's lips met hers, the crowd cheered as he clung on for some tongue action! 

Then another spear was offered to me- over the barricade I ran! We were getting all kinds of crazy and all anyone that saw could do was smile and applaud.

On one float I actually knew someone- or recognized him anyway. Some hottie that I met while he was staying at my workplace. I was the clean-up crew and he offered to help. Offered me a beer and some small talk. I couldn't take the drink offer, because I was a good worker, but when he was passing by on that float I yelled "You owe me!!" And he threw me some specialty beads with a wink and blew a kiss.

The best part about the whole experience? I threw a big enough hissy fit and screamed, danced, jumped up and down so crazy- I got someone to throw a giraffe at me. Yes. My very own Mardi Gras giraffe. Tell me a story better than that one? Tell me a story more perfect! You can't.

Some other things we got were some feather boas, mug holders, frisbies- lots of little wins. Walking home with all that, I thought I would die! ten pounds of beads on your shoulders plus maybe another thirty or fourty in a giant bag with seven spears?! We had a good Fat tuesday. Nej. We had a fantastic Fat Tuesday.

We dispursed, I passed out, five hours later went to work. So much win. So exhausting.

To end this segment I will say- if only ONCE in your life, it is totally worth going to Mardi Gras. Next year I plan on going to New Orleans, the king town of flashers and kissers. It fell through this year because I didn't know the area to well and my guild ended up not going. Meet y'all next year :)

The Preference of Donuts to Mayonnaise

This last weekend was the last weekend of one of my airmen. See, I live a block away from the airforce base, and airmen get filtered through my house often, and monthly, it would seem. It was a regular weekend- Party on a friday night, recovery and sleep on Saturday, movies that night or more party, and leave to go back to base on Sunday afternoon for curfew.

This weekend, however, made a turn we didn't see coming. Truth be told, we have no idea how it came. Okay maybe we do, but saying we didn't just makes it all mysterious and shit. Whatever. Read.

So it was a Saturday. We'd been watching the movies I rented from Blockbuster that evening because we didn't get a chance to watch them the previous night.  Luckily, we got them all watched before ten, so I thought I might go return them. The suggestion of even moving from the couch was enough to get the other three up- Miss, Skit, and Alaska.

So we set off, Skit driving, Miss in the passenget seat, Alaska and I in the back. Yes. Yes the seating arrangement is important. You will see why.

We dropped off the movies at Blockbuster, and seeing the Whataburger across the street, the men were hungry and went through the drivethru. I don't eat all that lovely meat business so some delicious fries and onion rings were all I wanted.

Now, before I go into this next part, I need all readers to understand- I can't eat fries without fry sauce. What is fry sauce you ask? Well, for my Northerners there's no explanation needed. For all the other non-freakish people of the world, it is a delicious combination of Mayo and Ketchup. I know. I'm not much of a Mayo person myself, but damn. It's so... mmm.

When we get to the drive through the gal asks us if we need any Ketchup or anything for our food.

Back up. I am hyper as hell. I work a grave shift. I haven't slept all day. At this point, I work in a couple hours. I get super bubbly and crazy and giggly when I'm sleep deprived. It's amazing and I do it often. Deal with it.

*FAST FORWARD*
So at the drivethru, I'm already giggling my ass off about.. I dunno, some story I was telling where my mum throws a phonebook at my brother. Hell if I know. I don't even think I got to the end of the story before I was crying of hysteria.

When the gal is passing food through the window, Skit tells her, "It's the meds she's on..." The gal cracks up and that's when she asks if we need condiments. In a very deep man-voice, and very loud, I bellow, "MAYYYOOOONNNNAAIIIIIISEE" The car load loses it and we get some wide-eyed looks from the people inside.

We're driving back to my place, and have to cross a freeway/bridge to get there. There's a stop light we have to wait at before crossing. We're in the right lane, and in the left and a car forward there is a po po. Me and Alaska are still going off about the MAYONNAISE incident, we're loud, the windows are down, the music is bumping. Having just a good time, right? Can't get pulled over for that shit, right?

Wrong. So wrong. We're all wrong. You're wrong.

The light turns green, and not even two minutes later, the jacksquat is behind us, flashing his cherries and berries.

You've got to be kidding me.

"Thanks, Ging" is all Skit has to say. Just so you caught that in the beginning- I'm not even the one driving!! I'm not even in the passenger seat!! Me and Alaska are in the fucking back, but we totally know why we're being pulled over.

Of course, Skit gets asked to step out of the vehicle, seeing as how we're on the freeway and the jacksquat probably doesn't want to get his ass ran off. From the car we hear muffled parts of the conversation. It was totally about the crazy bitch in the back seat yelling, and apparently that's a problem. As per routine, Skits gets asked if he is drunk, gets brethalized, no big deal.

He comes to my door. I open it and step out.

Before you read this, know that I already have a problem with this guy - I've little to no respect for police in the first place, but I can already tell, if I wasn't with a bunch of airmen, I would run my mouth.

I'm praying to Jesus at this point, Lord please don't let me pop off, these airmen need their future...

He takes me off to the side,"What was all that hootin and hollerin I heard from you at the stop light?"
I immediately start smiling- no remorse from this gal, "Mayonnaise."
He looks at me like I'm blitzed out of my mind.
"What? we got some Whataburger in the car with some Mayonnaise, I find that exciting."
"Ma'am, have to been drinking tonight?" I see the cocky scowl on his face.
"Yes sir I have been."

Back up. You must know, it's 10:30, 10:45 at night by this time. I have no idea how long alcohol stays in your system, but the last time I had a drink that day was at 5:00 or 7:00. I said yes because I'm old enough to drink and if he breathalized me, no big deal. Not driving. I'm of age. 

So I just said yes for those purposes. I had a damn Vodka and sprite. A half of one. No way I'm drunk five friggin hours later.

"How much you think you had tonight? Three? Four?" He asks.
"Not even. Like a half."
"Excuse me?"
"Of sprite and Vodka. You should try it sometime. Delicious."
"Date of birth?"
I tell him.
"Got an ID on you?"
"No."
"Well why not?"
"Because I'm not driving?" I look at him like he's a friggin moron. Because he is. We just wanted to return some movies. Get some food. Why the hell would I bring my ID with me for that? It's a hop, skip, and a jump away for titty's sake.
"So how am I supposed to know if you're of age or not?"
Oh lord, girl please hold your tongue...
"Look, you can put my ass in the back of that cop car and haul me to my apartment and I will gladly show you my ID." I just stare him down for a minute. He stares back.
"Where you work?"
"IP." I point to the giant ass building behind him.
"Where you live?"
I rattle off the street, he confirms the apartments and I tell him we're headed there.

He's asking me these personal questions because he asked Skit why I was being all cray-cray and where we were headed. His response to the po po was that I was majorly sleep deprived and hadn't slept that day and had work that evening.

Good man.

He walks away from me- no brethalyzer- and goes to Miss's door; passenger. Takes her aside. Not before being a total creeper and reaching for her knife at her side without even telling her what he was doing.

Skit and I were both about to jump this man. We protect our women.

I watch him question her.
"Ma'am, have you had anything to drink tonight."
"No." she says.
"You sure?"
She squints an eye as if to think, "Yes?" She responds.

Who the fuck asks that? "You sure you haven't been drinking?" Pretty sure you'd know or not. I gave the guy a funny look too.

Blah blah blah, he goes and gets Alaska out of the car- now this part is beautiful.

You must understand Alaska is a straight edge. No alcohol for this cat. Ever. Us other three? On any given weekend, hell yeah. No big deal. I just met Alaska the day before, and even when it's offered to him a million times, he refuses. No pressure. Just doesn't. No big deal.

He asks Alaska to step out of the car. When he does this, he totally kicks his soda all over the floor board. "Sir," he says, " I have an issue with the soda. May I fix it?" He asks, po po snaps, "Make it quick," and Alaska begins shoveling the ice and soda out onto the freeway.

Poor kid is a nervous wreck and I had to chuckle a little at the site of him shoveling the soda out.

He gets to the po po, "You been drinkin tonight sir?"
"No sir." He stands at attention.
"You sure? Confident enough to take a breathalyzer test?"
"Yes sir."
"You know that if you're lying, you can go to jail for this?"
"Yes sir."
Of course, blows 00's and Skit and I exchange looks.

The most sober kid you know acts the most drunk of us all. The irony in it all was precious. I was glad he knocked over the soda. It put a damper on the mood of the po po. It made me smile.

He pretty much just had to excuse us after that. We all got back in the car, exchanging each other's stories of the things the jacksquat asked us. In agreement, that guy was a doucher. The other three caught it but I wasn't even paying attention- apparently a lieutenant of some kind.

Not that it matters a rat's to me. Seriously. In a busy city where everything is loud, vehicles have their systems ballin', and we're not even in city limits for any kind of noise ordinance, who the hell pulls over a car because the back seat passenger keeps repeating MAYONNAISE in a man voice?

Seriously dude. You've been pwnd.

A Different Kind Of Birthday Pt. III

Alright, so you've read about the ups and the awkward loner ginger downs of the week, and that was only the first two days of the arrival of the Gingerman... so I'll not drag this out any further and go ahead and sum up the week.

The next morning (mornin after I drove away after a spastic rush of emotion) everything was fine. No questions asked and the day and week only got better. I made breakfast for two that morning, gettin into that swing of things, and afterwards, I was in the kitchen, doing dishes, when Gingerman came up from behind me, set his plate on the counter, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek.
"That was delicious. Thank you."
Lord have mercy on my soul, if there is such a kiss that makes you want to fall to the ground, it's one of those. Whateverthehell that was- more please!

That Thursday was pregame time. Pregame before the pregame. All day drinking. To prepare ourselves for the Friday night that would go down as an awesome birthday.

We went to Chili's, had a couple double rounds of beers and the drinkin never stopped when we got home. A steady pregame buzz. You know.

Nothing in particular to say for that Thursday, just your usual party house good times. All the airmen were back on base and tucked in their beds by ten.  Gingerman and I assumed the couch and telly for some good old fashion dvd watching, and at midnight, he leans over to whisper, "Happy birthday." NAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Fuck.

Anywho, Friday mornin, I believe I took my time getting up that mornin... it was so weird to just lay in bed. No work. No schedules. No bills to worry about. Everything was done, my Satan kitty wasn't raining on my parade that morning, and all was well. When the airmen got out at about four that afternoon as they always do, they came over and Skit asks, "Alright sweetheart, where you wanna go to dinner for your birthday?"
"Sushi." hands down. No hesitation. Done.
So we gather up the lot of us- Gingerman, Mister Mister, Skit, Miss, and I head to Samuri.
We ate entirely too much sushi, the men drank overly large beers, and we ladies dined on little fish eggs. Such a small gathering was such a delicious paradise. And we all ordered way too much food.

It was good for the morning when we all had the morning drunkies and were hungry.

So- after Samuri, it was back to my place for the lockdown. Drinking ensued, drinking games ensued, party music ensued, it was just a good time with good company. And like always, we didn't finish any of the drinking games.

We're horrible at that.

At one point in the night, we were all dancing our white people dances (save for Mister Mister of course, chocolate men got dat rhythm) and laughing and having a good time. I remember putting the dishes away after a while, and Gingerman comes into the kitchen to corner again. This time, he turns me around and I'm facing him. He's smiling at me, that little smirk I grew to quite enjoy and expect at close proximities such as this one. Next thing I know, this man has grabbed me by my ass, and before I had any time to object, he has picked me up and put me on the counter.

Ladies and queers everywhere- let me say that again.
This man.
Picked me up.
By my ass.
Placed me.
On counter.
I am not a small lady. I am a veluptuous, well-shaped, full blown woman.
You tell me how many men can do that with ease. You tell me.
Then be jealous.

Other than a surprise visit from an Asian that talked nonstop for four hours, it was a pretty regular night. Woke at crack of dawn, like after every evening of drinking, and made what we call Man's Breakfast.

First rule of Man's Breakfast, you don't talk about Man's Breakfast.

That Saturday and Sunday went about similar.

Wake up. Drank.
Pass out Drank.
Get up. Drank.
Piss it out. Drank.
Eat the Sushi. Drank.

Ah yes, then comes time for Sunday night. The airmen leave as per curfue, and again, Gingerman and I are left in the humble abode with no one else but Bacon. ... bastard cat.

Movies. Dinner. Coffee. I dunno. Just that sinking feeling of someone,whom of which you enjoy the company of, is leaving you in the morning. And you know it.

He showed me more of his New Yorker movies that evening, but eventually he did need his sleep.

That night was very sad. The morning was a little happier- a full breakfast before he left, as per usual.

Then, as all good stories come to an end, I watched him drive off.

BUT-

not before I stood there at my door looking into the sea-green eyes smiling like a tard. He wrapped his big ginger arms around me and I hugged him back and melted there. We pulled away slightly, and he leaned in for a kiss. I let him.

Where is the story at now? Well, he still lives in Florida and I still live in Mississippi, obviously. But he still calls daily and we text all the time. It's a happy ending to the segment.. but I don't believe it is an ending at all.

A Different Kind Of Birthday

It's a Tuesday night when I get the call, "Yo, which one of these places is your's?"

It's him.
"Well look for the Apple sign, take a right immediately after it and follow the sketchy pathway to the last apartment on the left. That's mine."
I'm already blushing, and it's a good thing I was making home made sweet tea because I would have been pacing and ringing my hands if not.
I go outside to my porch/walkway. I live on the second floor, and hang over the balcony, looking in the direction he is to be coming from; phone in hand. "I'm outside right now," I tell him, " I think that's you pulling up."
"I think I see you" He says, nearing.
Like an awkward freak, I go back into my apartment, as not to wait awkwardly. I dash back to my stove to get the boiling water for the tea. My face feels hot. I tone down the giggles.

You see. As much as I hate to admit it, there's this whole other side to the strong bold ginger you know. I'll call this side.... feminine.

I hear a knock at the door.

Oh how I wish you would have just walked in you bastard.

I go to open the door. There he is, standing in the dark with only the dim porch light to illuminate his being, the ginger man.
An awkward stand-and-stare commence on my part, stupidly smiling.
Then the most romantic words one could ever hear out of another's mouth when they meet in person for the first time, "I really have to pee. That was a long trip."
I lower my gaze and go back to my kitchen, face still flush. "That way, to the right," I point into my dark room.
How impolite as to not turn on lights. I froze up! Forgive me!
I'm making tea, stirring in the sugar and pouring the giant vat into my pitcher.
Stir stir stir.
Deep breath.
You're not intimidated by anyone.
This is just another male.
Just another male in your apartment.
Here to party hard for your birthday.




Let's go back - I met Gingerman through an airman -known as Skit in a previous story. They go way back, those two. One night Skit asks, " My buddy in Florida is workin a night shift and needs someone to text him to keep him awake."  Both men are from New York and just happen to meet each other in Florida. So it begun. Wasn't out of the ordinary that I would carry on conversation with a complete stranger. Why not?

We talked for seven weeks over the phone, day in and day out. I had a pretty good idea of who was coming to stay with me when my birthday finally came around.




*FAST FORWARD*
He walks into the kitchen. I take a glance. Over six foot, muscular, face still half-hidden by a hoodie. through it I see freckles, a small mouth, and eyes that do not belong on a redhead.

Think of all the redheads you know- all I've ever met are brown eyed. Then there's me, a bright blue. This jack? I dunno... something deep and turquoise. Like the colour of the sea at dusk, when the sun is covered by clouds, and instead of seeing rays of sun over the surface, all you see is the glow of blue and green waters in all of it's wholeness because for a moment you see it as much more than just water.
So weird.

"You like sweet tea?" I ask. Sweet one-liner, batman.

"Uh, yeah. That's cool. I'm hungry."

"Would you like me to cook, or shall we go somewhere?"

"Whatever you want to do."

I stare at him for a moment with a smirk. I'd love to be polite, but I hate that statement.

"Seriously." I smile at him.

He opens the fridge. Eggs. Spinach. Fish.
"What's open at this time?" He asks. It's about nine or so.. I can't recall the time. In the moment, it was completely irrelevant.
"Waffle House. Ihop."
My face is still red. I don't think I've looked him directly in the eyes since he's arrived.
"Ihop sounds good."

I forgot about the one over the bridge, and we started driving to the most out of the way Ihop in the area. "Is this place in Narnia?" He asks. "I just drove ten hours, and you're taking me another four just to eat?" He smiles at me. My smile hasn't left my face for days. Weeks even.

We get to ihop. He finally takes off his hoodie as we seat.
Ginger.
I get a good look at him in the light. His eyes are even more prominent. But holy fuck- as he takes his hoodie off, all I can think is, Never in my life have I known someone who had more freckles than I did.

We order. Begin talking, at first small talk about the trip, then our joined acquaintance circle of airmen.
To be honest, I really have no idea what was talked about. I probably rambled about nonsensicle things. Giggled incessantly. All I remember is how excited he was to get the chicken fried steak and those pancakes.
He'd been eating healthy for months and this was the first time he completely threw all rules out the window. It was his vacation, why not? That was his logic.

I just remember the way he eyed the pancakes, "Oh, come here sweethaht" he said in his New Yorker accent as he cut a chunk out of his short stack of pancakes and put it to his mouth.
That's all I really remember from that first dinner together. I still replay it in my head like it was the funniest fucking thing I'd ever heard in my life.

We get back in his car and drive away from Narnia. "Can you do me a favour? My friends will never believe me.."
He looks at me for a second, "What's that?"
"Take a picture of our arms and send it to a friend's number... you have so many freckles."
He just started laughing. "You serious?"
"Dead serious."

The reply he got back was, "Holy Cow! Fuck Yeah!"
He started laughing.

We get back to my place, "So what movie are we going to start with?" He asks as we get out of the car, the collection of movies I've never seen in my arms.
In my living room, I look through the stash," I don't think I've ever seen the second Boondock Saints," I say, tossing aside the other movies.

About 20 minutes left of it, I have to get ready to go to work, grave shift and all. (Don't worry, this is the only night I actually had to work when my guest was at my place.)

"Alright, well I'm probably going to bed. Been a long day of driving." He says.
"Yeah, cool. You gonna be fine? Help yourself to whatever. I'll see you in the morning."
He smiles at me for a second, kind of mockingly,"Yeah sweethaht, I'm gonna be sleeping."
"Oh. Right." blush blush blush- run out the door, locking it on my way out.
From that night on and for the next week I'll have a roommate.

Tune in next time to see what happens when I get home!!

Don't Bet On It

Pretty sure these guys are going to hate me for posting it. Pretty sure I don't give a rat's ass, and the adoring on either side is mutual enough that I can get away with it without them being butthurt too much. Of course, every side has two stories... this is just mine. And mine just happens to be the epic side.Note: as in all GingerSpot blogging, the names in the stories are the only things that aren't real.


It's Wednesday and Gingerman's first day of being in Biloxi, having arrived the night before.  It's quite the story as to how I met said ging but- fuck it, not it's not. Met him via phone seven weeks ago through Skit. End of story.

Anywhozers, it's Gingerman's first day of Biloxi and Skit comes off the base to go fishing with his long time friend. Skit arrives at my place at about 1:30pm or 2ish to pick up Gingy.

Skit looks at me, still sittin on the couch in some baller shorts with my hurr in a tizzy.
"You comin'?" He asks.

Before I go any further, try to read Skit and Gingerman's voices with New York accents... because the accent is just the cherry on top to lovely stories to come.

I look up at the both of them, " Yeah? Come fishing with you?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"Give me a sec," as I run into my room, throw on some pants and a hoodie, slip on some shoes, and walk out the door right after them.

We get in the car, Gingy cranks the beats, and they start doing as they do- talkin, bullshitting, whilst I enjoy the backseat with the sub thumping.

Hooters comes into view, and seeing as how none of us had lunch yet, they jump on it.

Fuck. My. Life.
See, a gal like me- you know, one with morals, self respect, and dignity- doesn't like going into a place like Hooters. the last time, and ONLY time I did was in Canada with my bestie Belle. Strawberry daquiris and a fuckton of Loonies and Toonies. Enough said.

So we walk in, and "Welcome to Hooters!", and I already want to kill myself. 

We sit where we want to, being it's a late lunch and no one is around, and our waitress comes up and asks us about drinks. Don't get me wrong, she's a cute gal- and a brunette at that. If she was a blonde I probably would have slit my wrists all over the counter and given up before my birthday had even arrived.

She was pretty chill too. Since it was dead, she had plenty of time to bullshit with her one table. My frown turned upside down instantly when out of the waitress came, "I love your nail polish! It's so bright, where did you get it?", looking at my flourescent yellow nail polish.
Alright. So I'm easy to win over.
"You can get the colour at Hot Topic," I said," but the secret to having it turn out so bold is...." and I told her my secret.
"Oh my gosh! I would have never thought of that! Nice!" A bit more conversating on the nails, she gets the drinks, then the men order. I'm still not eating at said establishment.



So ladies, you ever been the only gal in a group of guys? Well sure, at one point or another, we all have. I don't care how fucking smokin or ugly or gangster you think you are, there is nothing more annoying than being that only girl in the group when the guys start talking about how 'hot' other girls are. Especially other girls around you. Especially your own waitress who you really want to try and like because she is really trying to be nice to you because she sees it in your eyes that you want to cut her.



So when the guys start yapping, as we all will, I go into that whole, "meh" and start phoning away. No one texted you? You text a mass of people until one responds! You KNOW you do! Some of us can shrug it off like it's no big deal. But there is that breaking point where some of us have a bigger dick than our vaginas and are forced to shove them out when we hear one say " I bet I'll get her number by the time we leave."

My ears perk. "Dude. I bet I can get her number before you."

Now, to protect identities even more, I won't tell you which one I'm quarreling with.

"Hey. I'm from New York. I'm cocky and I don't back down."
"Hey. I'm a chick and a charmer and not a creeper. Her and I are gonna become bffs reals fast."

The other guy interjects, " I dunno dude, I think she's got you beat. Girls warm up to other ones kinda like that."

"Ten bucks, let's bet on it," Back to conversation.
"Dude, I won't bet you. I don't want to make this into a competition. But you're going to lose," I said with a smile and a wink.

She brings some beers to the table while the guys start talking to each other again.
"I'm gonna come chill over here with you since we're so dead." She says to me, and sits on the empty stool to my left.
"Yeah, I'm pretty bored too, can' get a word in with this bromance going on across the table here." I said.
"Psh, I see that! It's okay, I'll be your date."

Winning.

That's pretty much how the afternoon goes. We ended up being there a little over a couple hours just hanging out at a Hooters. When she took the plates away one of em says, " Dude. She's gotta come to your party this weekend."
"I'm workin on it," I smiled. Because hey, how often do you meet a broad you actually get along with?

The guys get up and leave the table for a moment, and I cross my fingers that she'll come at the time... and she did. Perfect.

"They left you all alone!" She said.
"Dude I know! Can this day be any more eventful? BLEH."
Blah blah blah, shoot the shit,
"So hey, I heard you sayin you've only lived here about six months. I have too and I really don't have a social life outside of these clowns. Think we can exchange numbers? Because that would be awesome. I'm having a birthday party this weekend and you're totally invited.

"That would be great, yeah! But I can't give out my number, I'll get fired. But I can give you my name and you can Facebook me! Write your number down and I can text you." She said.

"I'll write it in love note form" I smiled, and raised my eyebrows to her.
"Ooh! Yeah do that!"

She goes to attend to her other customer that walked in, and I write on a napkin, in the classiest way I know how:

"Hello my sweets! I've had a fantastic time!
 I know I just met you,
 and this is crazy,
 but I'm having a birthday party this weekend at my place,
 So join us maybe?"

And signed my number and name at the bottom. 
The guys came back just in time to read my love note, and give me a handshake, "Nice. Very nice."

She came back with another round, loved the love letter, and stashed it in her waitress pouch thing.

Don't play the masculinity game with me. My balls grow with anticipation of the next one willing to step up to the plate.

Stay tuned for more stories to come about the birthday week adventure!

NOT a Resolution

Okay, so here are some of the highlights of my past year if anyone is curious as to what Thibs is doing. You all are. I know.  Just one thing from each month that happened, and at the end, I'll throw in some things I hope to accomplish within the next year. I won't reveal too much because I'm slightly superstitious and feel if I tell my goals, they won't come true. BUT some of my goals did come true in 2012 so use this as an encouragement! YOU CAN DO IT!!

2012

January- Went to all the bars in town on my birthday and got schnockered best I could. The catch? The next day was the first day of work after my Winter break. Lucky me.

February- Found out I absolutely could not be in rugby for the semester... it was a sad day for manly gingers everywhere. To counter that, drove to Salt Lake to see a concert with the manfriend and bestie and drove back in time for work the next morning... yes. The same 24- hour period.

March- Went to Bismark, ND with the manfriend.... never again... haha people there are downsy!

April- Midnight hiking under the full moon with friends. Got to the top. Got schwasty, not schnockered, ran back down the mountain... ball-shrinking cold.

May- Giant music bash. Aced 20 page paper. Graduated. Drove to Mississippi, visiting friends in states along the way. What DIDN'T I do in May?

June- Unemployed. Lowest month. But encouraged me to start running, going to the beach and - wait for it- FIND OUT THAT GINGERS CAN TAN! Don't judge me.

July-A ROLLERCOASTER- Have a breakup. Boo. Get an interview at a four diamond hotel and get hired. Yay me. Also find out at the end of the month I dropped 30 pounds. Yay me. Then I had a wreck. Boo.

August- Living with a roommate who I happened to know from Wyoming but her husband was on the Air Force Base in Biloxi. WIN.

September- Roommate leaves for Cali. Friend all the fucking airmen in the world. They took good care of me <3

October- Go trick-or-treating in my twenties? I think YES. As a monster rave girl, the costume that won a contest at work. BAM.

November- Get a Kitten. Learn how to make gumbo and eat it with Mema. Enough said.

December- Went by fast.. Highlight, I finally contacted the bartending school and all systems a go!


OKAY so this next segment is NOT a bunch of NEW YEARS resolutions. Just small goals I like to obtain within a 365-day time frame. I usually wait about a week or so AFTER the new year so people don't confuse them, but I am just so full of things to accomplish I couldn't wait! That and I have no life.
ANYWHO

Complete bartending school, obtain job in said field, rock Mardi Gras, and shake some tah tahs to make some moo lahs... bwahaha I rhymed.

Get second job anyway so I have more money to travel. That's all I want to do. Travel. I want money to see people or to take people places.

There are two jobs I am hoping/wishing/praying/sacrificingsmallanimalstogods for. And I can't tell you as not to jinx it. Just know that no other person in the world could possibly better at the jobs than yours truly.

Get to southern Utah to see my queer. Then take him on a roadtrip.

Oh! Fly to Puerto Rico with my friend! Hopefully in February.

Learn how to fucking sew. Because None of these stores have what I want. I want to make my own fucking styles. Fucking fuck fuck. FUCK.

Use more descriptive words and less use of Fuck.

and uh.... maybe.... just maybe... find a nice man? ^ ^ teehee I know it's dumb but uh. You know. IT'S MY FUCKING LIST!!

wait wait... IT'S MY COTTON-PICKIN LIST!!

OKAY! So now it's time for me to read YOUR lists! Either lists of what you did, what you want to do, longterm goals - i love to hear from my readers!! Print your list out and stick it on a door you walk out of every day!! Keep it on your mind! I wrote down in my notebook EVERY DAY that I was going to get to Mississippi. You know what? Here I am, home at last. Get to it! My blog is open to the public, and and anyone can comment!

Bacon Shaymus and Bigglesworth

Before you read this, know that I am not by any means a cat person. I've no emotional attachement to animals, though I will say from time to time they are enjoyable.  Somehow, I've always befriended cat people... people who LOVE cats. Would die for cats. Would kill a person before killing a cat. It was probably their mindsets alone that seeped into my brain and a month ago spoke from my mouth that I would spontaneously get a kitten.

He's a blonde little ginger baby with green eyes. After much debate on a proper name, it became one he grew into- Bacon Shaymus Thibodeaux.

Yes. I know it's SHAMEUSE but I tend to not spell things correctly on purpose because it's unique and you will LIKE IT!

So Bacon started out as a meek baby... and I don't know if it's because his owner has rubbed off on him or if it's because all kittens are loons... but he's fucking nuts. He gets into things I didn't know could be gotten into.

He likes wires.

And curtains.

And beds you can crawl IN to the frame of.

And likes it when I chase him about the house.

He's fucking nuts. And I got him because I felt lonely. I am no longer lonely, I will have you know. Just busy. With Bacon.

But this story isn't about mister Shaymus. Oh no. It's about his long lost brother, Mister Bigglesworth. 


Three days ago, there was word that a cat got into the housekeeping storage room of the hotel that I work at. Without further detail I said, "I'll catch that cat." Many disbelievers said they'd been trying to catch it for a couple days without luck. Said it was wild and wouldn't come to anyone. Shun the non-believers, Charlie. Shun.

Last night, about 4:30am when I was turning in some paperwork to the downstairs office mid-shift, I decided to hang out in the break room a few minutes. I don't know what posessed me to do this, I never hang out in the break room. But there I was last night. And I heard it. The gurgled meow of a hungry kitty.

I peered out the break room, and caught a glimps of a black paw going down a seperate hallway. One opposite the storage room he'd been hiding- and also a hallway I knew came to a dead end. I snuck after the shadow down the long hallway. It lead to where the bellboys stored their luggage carts, but I knew at this time all doors would be shut.  I reached the end and found nothing.

DUB TEE EFF MATE?

But I heard a rustling from behind me- five old people power chairs stashed in a corner. I saw his eyes gleam at me. "Gotcha." I said smiling at him.

I moved the power chairs one by one, until I was right in front of the one in the corner he was hiding in.  Just then, the manager of Environmental Services walked out of a door from back up the hallway. "Francis!" I called to him.

"The cat! Can you move this chair so I can catch him if he tries to run?"
"Yeah sure! I can't believe it. How did he get all the way over here?"
"He was hungry."

He moved the chair forward and -FLOOOSH-
there goes the BABY!!

Yes the baby! He wasn't much bigger than the little asshole I had at home! He was just black with a white snout and white toes and a fluffy black tail! (My friend Squats might say this was the long lost Bootsie) I held him by his middle and could tell he wasn't going without a fight!

He hissed, scratched, wriggled like a son of a biscuit eater and I held him tightly. It wasn't until I was picking him up off the ground that he managed to squirm free of my grasp!

"NO!" I exclaimed, and took off down the hall after him. FUCK your no running rules.
"You almost had him!" Francis yelled after me.

Not good enough.

I chased him and watched him skid across the shiny floors every scurry of the way. I followed him until I watched him to his hidey-hole. 

There, ladies and gentlemen. Is where I shall catch him tonight.

But here in lies the question... do I try and keep Mister Bigglesworth and tame him to be brothers at mi casa? Or do I let him out the back door? HELP!

Side note - the name wasn't my idea. It was the name one of the housemen gave him when he suggested I could keep the cat and name him something redonkulous.