Why Bismarck? Pt. I -Police

So, instead of an epic roadtrip like I'd planned for my spring break, my car took a shit on me a couple days before I intended on leaving.  I stayed in a resident hall for the most part, but along came the Asian's weekend- the Monday and Tuesday.  He decided we'd take an adventure of our own.  This is our story. (It will probably be sectioned off into a few different blogs, watch for them.)

He knocked on my window at about 11:00 am. I let him in the side door and he asked if I was still up for leaving.  "Well, you decide?" We'd passively talked about going to Salt Lake, Canada, Boise, Seattle.. whatever.  Just not really taken the time to think about these things. Rarely are these things thought out.  "I don't want to be driving for the majority of my weekend." He tells me.  "Well. Bismarck is only 7 hours away."  We trolled the tourist page of the city.  Sounded legit.  Water park, zoo, arts gallery, why not?

We set off on our adventure about.. noon-thirty or so. He had me drive. I was thinkin he'd sleep because he just got off work. No big.  I can drive stick.... as long as there's no intimidating Asian glare in the passenger seat watching my every move. Oh wait, there was, that's right... little asshole. So we're off. Not much to tell, had some 4B's soup in Miles City, blah blah blah *FASTFORWARD*

So I have a speeding problem. Big whoop.  Who doesn't these days, eh?  So it was gettin dark and we were maybe 45 minutes from our destination.  Usually I slow down when it gets dark because i can't see the po po when they're out.  We get to talkin- because the Asian never slept- and I'm gettin all hyped about the music we're talkin about when all of a sudden I see berries and cherries coming in the opposite direction.  I look down and my speedometer  and I'm going 95... in a 75. Whoopsie. hehe. So the cop crosses the gaping median - okay lemme paint this for you-

The median is about 3 lanes wide itself.  the median is grass and it dips really big in the middle. Had I not slowed my roll and pulled over like a good law-abiding citizen (irony) i probably could have gotten away.  This po po took a good nose dive into the damn median.  Kinda funny to watch.  But here comes the real gold of the story....

The officer walks up, I'm mercilessly apologizing to the Asian already for this. You see, his insurance card is about 4 months expired at this point and hasn't gotten around to getting it updated.  The po po does the routine, license, insurance, registration. "Miss do you know why I pulled you over?" 
Here it comes ladies and gentlemen, the Gingy people rarely get to witness.
"I believe I was speeding sir."
"I clocked you at 95."
"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I'm not used to this car, no cruise control and all, oh my!Wow!So sorry!"
"Ma'am, can you come back to my car with me?"
I look at Asian confused, this never happens.  "Uh, sure." I step out of the car and follow him to his cop car. "Does this usually happen in North Dakota? Getting in the cop car?"
He chuckles a little, " I just don't want to get hit tonight standing out there is all."
We get in the car, I'm a little soothed that I'm not going to the big house. 
"Where you headed?"
"Bismark. For a vacation."
"In Bismarck?" He chuckles," Why there?"
Before I knew it I was tellin him all kinds of things and he was asking more questions. Even told him how Asian and I met, what I was going to school for and my plans of heading to Mississippi in May.  This man was just eating it up.  People, you must understand, no one and I mean NO one can refuse southern charm.  Silly things like when he asked what I was in college for and my replies.
"Mathematics right now."
"Who goes to school for that?" He smiles.
"Guess I'm just good with numbers. Clearly not the ones on the road." I chuckle back.  He laughs it up.
"Well, I don't know how they do it in Montana and Wyoming, but we have a point system here. I only marked you were going 90 so you don't have as many points racked up and have your license taken away." 
"Well that's so sweet of you!"
"But I do have to give you a ticket. I'll even give you an envelope so you can mail the money within the next two weeks."
"Thank you sir." A little wink. 

I walk back to the car, finishing up my charming with a quick smile and flick of the hair. I look at the ticket and burst out laughing.  I get in the car, happy as a clam.
"What's the damage?" Asian asks.
"Hehe. Guess. Just guess!"
"Well, somethin like THAT would have put me at a $250 ticket and a night in jail!"
"Hehehehehe try $75."
"WHAT? WHAT?!NO!THAT'S SO BULLSHIT!"
"Hehee no one can resist.."
"Seriously. That's not even fair. I'm mad at you right now!"
I giggle a little more and this conversation goes back and forth for a while. 

We ride up into Bismarck a little later and that fun begins in Part II.

Again, One Smile Calms All

This last week has been hectic for me. 

With a whopping 20 page paper on the mind, artworks to submit to have a chance to be published, and other miscelaneous papers and homework on top of figuring out what the hell is going on with the financial aid office, I think I might have reached a near-cracking point.
I had a few mental breakdowns in a day - of which I even had my mother call me to calm me down.  Those that know me this never happens.  If anything I avoid conversation with the family as not to blow up. 

After work on Friday, I scrambled to get all of my art together to take to a guy who was the photographer for the magazine I was entering in.  Then the submissions go to a panel and they decide what works are awesome enough to get in and which ones aren't.  As I enter the room where submissions are being photographed,  I see there's only two guys in there- the photo guy and just another dude finishing up handing in his submissions.  I breathe a little, knowing I'll be next and not stressing about the deadline which was two hours from where I was standing. 

They seemed pretty chill, just comments about their art and such. The photographer looks at me, "Hey Thibodeaux." Always going somewhere that I'm a familiar face.  It's actually quite nice.  "Hi." I try to force a quick smile.  "Brought your stuff for me to take pictures of?"
"Mmhmm."
"Almost done with this guy, then you're next."
"Do you have any submission forms?"
He looks around, "No, but if I tell you where they are, you wanna bring me a stack?"
"Sure thing!" I was a little excited, wanting to make this official.
After his specific instructions, I hurridly made way to the next building over to talk to some of the panel to get some submission forms.  When I got back, he was finishing photos for the last metal sculpture of the guy who was in front of me.  Patiently I waited, filling out all submission forms, one for each artwork. 
"Alright man, that's it," I heard him say.
"Thanks again for doing this!" The metal sculptist began taking all of his artwork from the room.
"You ready?" The photographer asked. 
"I have some necklaces I made. Glass beads on one and buttons for another."
"Necklaces. Cool! Yeah, bring them over."  He began positioning them in an eye-pleasing sort of way.
"Position them how you'd like them." He told me.
"You're also an artist, do as you please."
He chuckled at me, "Don't tell me that..." and proceeded to take pictures.
"You almost out of here?" I asked, refering to graduation in May.
"Yeah, I've been here too long. Been here three years and I still don't know what I'm doing."
Woah, sounded like me.  Cept he seemed pretty chill about the whole situation.
"Ha, I've been here three years too and will also be graduating this May.  No idea what will come next. I know I'll be going back to Mississippi but that's about it."  He switched necklaces to take pictures.
"Mississippi, eh? I'll be heading to Colorado.  I think I'm just gonna go with the flow, take a year off and see where we go from there."

That made my day.  Finally, someone else that doesn't know what they're doing, doesn't know where the wind will take them, but he just seemed so damn OKAY about it.  I used to be like that.  I have no idea why I let all of this build up and get to me.  Who cares if I didn't get accepted into the Boston program? Who cares that I'm getting some associates I have no idea what I will do with? Who cares if all I know is that I'm going to Sippy and takin my Asian with me?  I'm not dying and I'm not terribly off.  We had a few more little short chats and later on some giggles about my Penis painting that I did. 
I was relieved all over again that I didn't have to explain to him the meaning behind it because he himself was an artist too. 

Moral? No one knows what's going on.  Everyone just has different ways of looking at the unknown.

Hot Men in Montana

Okay, So I used to work at a classy establishment.  Probably in the top few bests in the small town I lived in for a while in Montana.  I worked there for 2 years or so,  calling Keno games and after a while, waitressing. 

I worked with some awesome ladies that were about as shy as I was- not at all.  To keep the story straight between ladies, they were Nick, Charles, and Jules. (Because you know by now I don't use real names in my blogs.) Nick was a tiny little gal, 5 years my senior, and sweet as peaches. Don't let her fool you, you do NOT mess with her.  She keeps her man and all her ducks in a row, not a force to recon with.  Then there was Charles, a feisty gal who kept you on your toes and had your classic 'wise-guy' attitude with the senior gentlemen.  They got a real kick outta her.  Then there was Jules- the third comedian who liked to check out 'hot men' with me. 

Well, naturally, as all waitresses will, we would talk about our customers as they left.  " I liked them! They left a nice tip!" or, "Did you see him? Psh, check me out as I walk away, yeah I'll give you somethin to look at buddy!" and the list goes on.  Our favourites were when older couples came in, dressed their Sunday bests for an evening out.  Always the cutest to see a couple that has lasted that long, you know. . . until you found out they were brother and sister, not married.

Much much more than the elderly couples, however, were the 'hot men'.  Asses hangin outta the pants like mad plumber's crack,  bellies spilling over like crazy with NO tee to tuck it in or overalls to hold it up, and the craziest hats/facial hair/ expressions you've ever seen.  Sometimes there needed be no words from staff to staff but a subtle look from one to the other across the restaurant and a slight smile or hint of the eyes.  All waitresses out there know what I'm talking about.  Sometimes, after they'd left, we'd whisper at my Keno table for giggle's sake, "Did you see the mouth on that one?! Like he was coming at me to take a bite!"

But the particular incident disclosed here today is the one that goes in our memory banks as the sight of the history. 

I believe it was a day during the week; was a Wednesday or Thursday because of how slow it was.  It was during the summer- I remember the stuffiness of the place and us all wishing and hoping we didn't have to work because the sun was shining and we knew the lake would be divine.  There were only a couple tables in the whole restaurant and I was cleaning my Keno counter when all of a sudden Jules jumps over to me,  "Come quick! Come quick! There's a hottie outside! SERIOUSLY you're going to miss him!"  Without another moment's notice, I spring from behind my counter and speed-walk to where she is leading me.  "THERE! On the corner! I saw him pass our window and I had to show you!"

I look on the corner and immediately got the attack of laughter that had to be hushed in the establishment.  Ever notice how things are always funniest when you have to keep quiet?  Out on the sidewalk,  waiting at the stoplight (our workplace, on the corner)  was an older looking lanky fella with no shirt, hand high on one hip, newspaper in the other, squinting into the sun with, in contrast to his lanky arms and legs, a beer-belly that seeped over his -and get this- cut-off short shorts.  We just about died that day.  I will never get this image out of my head. 

As you can tell, the 'hot men' we were interested in lookin for were the ones you find on, oh, say... People of Walmart. You know the site and it's never pretty. 

Whoever you were, if you have a computer, or ever look at things on the internet, this story was for you and just know that you made our day.

The Asian

Well, we've been dating for a while now, and I decided it's finally time for an Asian story. He cracks me up... not because he means to. Really.  He's just Asian... as he possibly can be, all Americanized and such. Whatever. On to the story.

Pretty much when I get to see the Asian is on his weekends; Mondays and Tuesdays.  Usually all that consists of is watching movies, playing video games on rare occasion, watching youtube... you know. Hangin out and stuff.  Until the Asian is unleashed in public... now THAT is some funny shit. 

So this past particular Tuesday,  we went out for a walk.  I like my sunlight and get cabin fever easily, he hisses at it.  You can only imagine how long these walks do not last.  We're walkin to the bank to deposit money which is just halfway across town from the college, no big.  Wind is mild- rare for Wyoming- and little Asian bastard is running us into traffic, kicking in windshields, you know, what other Asians do on their free time.

It's a joke, you can laugh now.

We're coming close to the bank, about a block away and there's a HUGE mailbox. "You can fit packages in that mailbox!" He said.  " I know!"  Because, dude. It was true. This was an OVERLY over-sized mailbox. (Remember this mailbox here in a minute) We walk into the bank.

As I'm waiting for a teller, he goes to sit on one of the big comfy couches at said bank.  I watch him sit, and proceed to talk to himself and/or the couch... it went something a little like this.

"What is that in my back?" Looks behind him.
"Oh, wow that's a cushion! That's a nice cushion."  Fluffs the cushion.
"Very nice." Looks at it thoughtfully, then slams his back very hard on it.
"Hm." He raises his eyebrows with satisfaction. 

I burst out laughing and that was when I realized I'm dating the guy that turns into the old guy that comments on everything in the store.  You know?  That guy that everyone thinks is a creeper because he's really nice and fraternizes with the lawn and gardening section?  THAT guy. 

I told him I was watching him, and what a creeper he was.  He just smiled.  Then proceeded to tell me about how he wants to make this giant mailbox (we're walking past it again) but with some modifications.  He wants to be an old guy with a giant mailbox that has the opening like a bear trap.  Then the mailman can set the mail on what he thinks is the trigger to this bear trap but be relieved to find out that it's not really going to chop his arm off. 

Then keeps going on with his futuristic story menacingly about how it would actually be a bear trap so no one would steal his mail. "No one wants to steal your mail, paranoid!" I jokingly spat at him.  "It's a felony, you know! What if some kids, as a joke, tried to take my mail?"  He laughed to himself, "It'd be funny. The next day you'd see some five year old dangling from my mailbox.  That'll teach him."  He chuckles to himself.  I laugh hysterically.  Who the fuck says that shit?


SO that's just one of many stories of the Asian.  Many more to come. Happy reading, everyone!

Starts with One Good Thing

So, today was your average shit day.

Wake up five minutes before work, throw on clothes, fighting the migraine pounding, and nonetheless on the second day of college- the busiest at a grille on campus.  Not so fun when you're a cook and everything else.  College kids and professors alike rolling in, hungry as hell, and impatient as all get out.  I and two other ladies were working our asses off, grilling, frying, dishing as fast as we could-

And I swear if I hear one more impatient bitch complain about not having her food after five minutes, I will cut a bitch. I will CUT her. Anywho,

I get done with work and head for a nice cold shower, thinking I have another hour and ten before my class starts. I get all dolled up after the shower. It's what I do on days that start out terrible. I dress up in colours and it's an instant picker-upper... let me paint this our for you-

Mustard tights, red/yellow/green floral skirt, striped shirt with a grey vest and brown boots.. I know, sounds hideous, but if it makes my mood better then you better damn roll with it! Oh, and you can't forget my blue hair... oh that blue hair... no one forgets that.
I look in the mirror, smile, sigh, check my schedule again for the room and... oh yes, oh but YES today of all days. Fate would have it that the class actually doesn't start at two like I thought. It starts at one. So I'm not going to be 15 minutes early, I'm going to be 45 minutes late. So I decide not to go. One day, I can afford it. 

I head to the Damn Asian's place to do my laundry.  It's free, it just makes sense for me to go there instead of paying up the ass for dryers that might or might not work the first two times.

The smell of 5+ men in one house can be quite nauseating. Add that to the migraine and we have ourselves a frustrated ginger with a terrible attitude.  I head back to my place to take care of more campus things... like figure out this whole getting out of a terrible class bit, yet into another one so I'm still considered a full time student.

I walk to the music building to talk to the professor there, hang out in an acting class for a while, and eventually leave, still in a downer mood.

As I'm coming to the crosswalk in 7th Street- the street that divides our college grounds- a truck rolls up. A big truck. One might say a "big dick" truck around there parts.  You know, the over compensating looking trucks that could be easily used for real work but probably just some kid who has a penis complex. That kind.

I wait for the truck to go first, having already a previous issue with the 'type' I classify them in.  I see the passenger in the truck staring at me as he starts to roll down his window.

Here it comes. Just pile it on, buddy.

He rolls down the window as they're driving away and yells out,

"You're beautiful!"


I didn't know what to say.  I didn't say anything.  I smiled at this kind passer-by.  He smiled back. 

I held my head high on my walk back to my hall.  I smiled the whole way. That smile that is usually plastered on my face day to day.  That smile was put back on my face from the act of a kind stranger I was quick to assume about.  Perhaps there is still hope in this world.

Morning Professors

I work at the Grille at my college. My co-worker and I were making coffees and cleaning for the shift when one professor walks in through the back door to get drip coffee. Another comes shortly after and they start conversating. This is priceless.

"Good morning, sir! How are you this mornin?" The younger professor asks.
"Dashing! Shall we go jump off the Shoshone Bridge today?" The older professor replies, quite chipper.
"Oh no, don't be silly, we'd only hurt ourselves!"
"Right you are! How about the ledge of Heart Mountain?"
"Oh yes! That sounds like it would do the trick!"

Both men chuckle in an uppity big class way and walk out the door sipping their coffee.  My co-worker and I almost died of laughter, recreating the scene over and over for the rest of our shift.

Since 1940

The characters depicted in the following have false names due to the fact I currently am training in a Care Center facility and don't wish to get my ass reamed or failed. This is not a usual comical story, yet a touching one. Get out your tissues. Enjoy.

For three days I've been socializing with the elderly of my little town of Wyoming, cleaning messes, feeding them, and everything in between.  Today, I got to be acquainted with a particularly interesting couple- we'll call them Sue and Dale. The CNA that I was to shadow that day had that lovely couple in her care.  It was about lunch and time for a bathroom break.  For those of the audience who aren't aware, it is rare that an elderly, at any given care center, won't need assistance.  We walked Sue and Dale to their shared room- to meet their little dog of which I came to find out they'd had for six years.

Ladies first, so as the aid helped her, I conversed with Dale for a small bit until his turn. He smiles as he almost immediately starts to tell me, "You know we've been together about 75 years." I'm intrigued. "Oh yeah?" I hint to more, with a smile. "Oh yes yes." He breathes in deeply, I wait for him to continue. "You know, it was me and a buddy who were at a basketball game many years ago. We saw two of the cutest cheerleaders and snuck up on them and told them we wanted them over at our place after the game. They told us they had boyfriends that were to wait for them after the game.  So we told them to go ahead and get changed when the game was over and sneak out the window of their changing room. We'd help them down and take them to their boyfriends. So, after the games we helped them out of the window and left with them. Been together ever since." He smiled as he was finished with that portion of the story.

He saw me smiling in disbelief and amazement. "Yup," he said," my buddy and the other cheerleader were together too, but they passed away some time ago. A sort of reminiscing in his eyes and this thought. "I'm in awe. That's a very long time." I commented. What else do you say to that? "Yup. We don't fight. I still love her. We grew up here together."
"You've lived in *said city* your whole life?"
"Mmhmm."
"And her?"
"I don't really know where she's from anymore." He chuckles. So do I. "But I think she's from here too."
At this time, Sue comes out, and Dale goes in.
While passing each other, her in walker, him in wheelchair, Dale says to her, "Give me a kiss." "What?!" She instantly responds. "Don't worry," he says, "I'll give you one back." Sue smiles and surely gives him a kiss on the lips and tries to pull away. "Wait!" Dale says, "I didn't give you one back." She leans over and receives her kiss.
Sue's time for a chat. As she's sitting down, I'm wiping back tears, trying to gain composure. "So your husband tells me you've been together for quite some time." She smiles that smile. Even under her elderly skin, all of those wrinkles and delicate features- I know that smile anywhere. She loves him still before she even says the words. "We got married in 1940." She tells me. " But were with each other before that." The tears keep coming as she tells me her side of the deal, "I was a cheerleader and he liked to pick on me. He's straightened up over the years." We giggle the gossip-chuckle together. She restates his thoughts, "Yup. Been together 70-some years and still I love him. We don't really fight. We argue. But never fight." She smiles. " I think we'll be just fine as long as he keeps his act together." A shared gossip-chuckle again. "What about you?" She asks, catching me a little off guard. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well, your smile, how did you and your guy meet?" I blush a little bit. Didn't think I was obvious. "Well. We worked at a store together. Then he needed help moving into another place, then took me on dates and we've been together ever since." I smiled my biggest, as she caught that my last line mimicked her's. "How long have you been together for?" She asked. "A year." I smiled once more. Today that she ask me is the day we've officially been a year. She mimics me in return," Oh wow!" and we laugh. "Nothing like 75 years." I say.
Dale comes out and the two exchange a glance. "Ready for dinner, sweetheart?" Dale asks. "I am, dear." She replies. The two head down the winding hallways to the dining hall.

I love that. I can't tell you how much my heart goes out to those two and other couples who have stuck with it over the years. Anyone that knows me can tell you I'm no sap and don't give into the romantic comedy chick flicks of today. You can keep your flings and heart-throbs- I don't want em.  Some day I hope to be able to say I've been with someone for even fifty years. I think it's phenomenal- some of the relationships that last to the end of their days. I think it's the most beautiful thing ever to love someone, and actually show dedication by finding something every day about them that you love. Every day being patient with them. Every day having new adventures as not to take each other for granted. I love the elderly. So tossed aside in the world of today in the American culture. So underestimated.