As of recent, I've moved across the United States back to my roots in my lovely state of Missippi. I've been hitting the beach every day for about three weeks now because (until recently, yay!) I have been jobless. Here is just one of the incidents that has come my way involving the mighty male.
As some of you are not aware, men are bold in the south in many more ways than just one. Some are brave, some will show off, and some will just downright tell you that you have a nice rack. In this case, are brave enough to question you of all your life details without even knowing your name...
I'd been laying on the beach for a while and the sand had become very hot in the early noon so I decided to finally go out for a swim. There were quite a few people at the main beach, though not as many as the week to follow with the temperature getting into the high nineties. I was still on my way out into the water and only about waist deep when I saw him from the corner of my eye.
He was.. . older looking. Forties? Scruffy hair. A bigger guy. Friendly looking enough? Oh boy.
Ladies that have had this happen, you know what sixth sense I'm talking about - you can feel them not only looking at you, but searching for a way to approach you; searching for the right way to strike up the conversation.
"Doesn't get too deep out here does it."
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Great conversation starter!
"No." What the hell else can you say?
"How far can you go out before it gets deep enough to swim in?" He asked.
There you go buddy, open ended questions.
"You can keep walkin out to the end of the pier before it gets deep."
The Pascagoula Beach Pier stretches out quite a ways. Don't ask me in feet, I'm blind in one eye and that somehow means I suck hard at telling distance.
"Oh wow," Oh no, here it comes ladies. Brace yourselves.. .
"Where's your husband at?" He asks.
I just shat a brick. There it is, floating off in the Gulf.
"Ha oh, what?" Dude took me by surprise! Seriously, I understand a bold move, but when you ask directly where my muscle is, it's not exactly comforting.
"Well," He starts, still not phased of my reaction to his question," I saw you go by and I thought that you were so beautiful. I thought you must have a husband at least."
"No not a husband," I replied, composing a nice poker face,"a boyfriend."
"Oh okay. How old are you?" He asked. Tits, with the quesitons again.
"Twenty-one."
"Oh, okay I'm probably too old for you anyway." I see that.
I just stare at him for a moment as he stares at me, waiting for some sort or reply.
"Thirty-eight." He says. I just shrug and smile, playing off it's not that big of a deal.
I think I'm way to nice to ever let someone down hard. Hell, he had the guts to talk to me, why not have the courtesy to be a lady in return?
"Where are you from?" He asked, again trying desperately to keep me talking.
"From here." I replied.
"Oh, you have an accent I've never heard before."
"Oh," Shit that's right. I sound southern to the North, and northern to the South.
"I just moved back from Montana. Too cold for my liking." I said, still smiling.
"That's nice. Lots of snow huh?" Yeah buddy. "Well that is a beautiful accent. And you're a very beautiful lady." Putting the stopper on....
"I just saw you go by," he restated, "and thought you might want to go on a date. Guess I'm too old for you." Lord, stop repeating yourself. It's alright darlin, Lord help you, it's alright.
"Well thank you. I should be heading back now." Noticing I've been standing in the waist-deep water long enough.
"Okay, I'm just going to the end of the pier to see where the beach finally drops off." He said, looking at me for some kind of company. I just don't want to.
"Have a nice day!" I headed toward shore.
Now ladies, this has happened to some of you before as well. You're going away, he's going the opposite way, and all of a sudden you can't help but feel he's coming your way. Note, he's coming your way because he needed to go the same way, but wanted to stop the awkward before it got deeper.
I'll have you know, I get out of the water, glace back, and there he is about twenty feet behind me. I meander off to my towel that's on the other side of the pier and away from the main beach. I noticed him leave and felt a slight relief. Mean? No. Sometimes it's just nice to kick back in your own awkward silence instead of trying to fill someone else's.
What did we learn today? Let 'em down easy. More importantly, just say you have a husband in the first place.
As some of you are not aware, men are bold in the south in many more ways than just one. Some are brave, some will show off, and some will just downright tell you that you have a nice rack. In this case, are brave enough to question you of all your life details without even knowing your name...
I'd been laying on the beach for a while and the sand had become very hot in the early noon so I decided to finally go out for a swim. There were quite a few people at the main beach, though not as many as the week to follow with the temperature getting into the high nineties. I was still on my way out into the water and only about waist deep when I saw him from the corner of my eye.
He was.. . older looking. Forties? Scruffy hair. A bigger guy. Friendly looking enough? Oh boy.
Ladies that have had this happen, you know what sixth sense I'm talking about - you can feel them not only looking at you, but searching for a way to approach you; searching for the right way to strike up the conversation.
"Doesn't get too deep out here does it."
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Great conversation starter!
"No." What the hell else can you say?
"How far can you go out before it gets deep enough to swim in?" He asked.
There you go buddy, open ended questions.
"You can keep walkin out to the end of the pier before it gets deep."
The Pascagoula Beach Pier stretches out quite a ways. Don't ask me in feet, I'm blind in one eye and that somehow means I suck hard at telling distance.
"Oh wow," Oh no, here it comes ladies. Brace yourselves.. .
"Where's your husband at?" He asks.
I just shat a brick. There it is, floating off in the Gulf.
"Ha oh, what?" Dude took me by surprise! Seriously, I understand a bold move, but when you ask directly where my muscle is, it's not exactly comforting.
"Well," He starts, still not phased of my reaction to his question," I saw you go by and I thought that you were so beautiful. I thought you must have a husband at least."
"No not a husband," I replied, composing a nice poker face,"a boyfriend."
"Oh okay. How old are you?" He asked. Tits, with the quesitons again.
"Twenty-one."
"Oh, okay I'm probably too old for you anyway." I see that.
I just stare at him for a moment as he stares at me, waiting for some sort or reply.
"Thirty-eight." He says. I just shrug and smile, playing off it's not that big of a deal.
I think I'm way to nice to ever let someone down hard. Hell, he had the guts to talk to me, why not have the courtesy to be a lady in return?
"Where are you from?" He asked, again trying desperately to keep me talking.
"From here." I replied.
"Oh, you have an accent I've never heard before."
"Oh," Shit that's right. I sound southern to the North, and northern to the South.
"I just moved back from Montana. Too cold for my liking." I said, still smiling.
"That's nice. Lots of snow huh?" Yeah buddy. "Well that is a beautiful accent. And you're a very beautiful lady." Putting the stopper on....
"I just saw you go by," he restated, "and thought you might want to go on a date. Guess I'm too old for you." Lord, stop repeating yourself. It's alright darlin, Lord help you, it's alright.
"Well thank you. I should be heading back now." Noticing I've been standing in the waist-deep water long enough.
"Okay, I'm just going to the end of the pier to see where the beach finally drops off." He said, looking at me for some kind of company. I just don't want to.
"Have a nice day!" I headed toward shore.
Now ladies, this has happened to some of you before as well. You're going away, he's going the opposite way, and all of a sudden you can't help but feel he's coming your way. Note, he's coming your way because he needed to go the same way, but wanted to stop the awkward before it got deeper.
I'll have you know, I get out of the water, glace back, and there he is about twenty feet behind me. I meander off to my towel that's on the other side of the pier and away from the main beach. I noticed him leave and felt a slight relief. Mean? No. Sometimes it's just nice to kick back in your own awkward silence instead of trying to fill someone else's.
What did we learn today? Let 'em down easy. More importantly, just say you have a husband in the first place.
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