Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Going Away Party

This children, is a drunken story. It shall not be looked highly upon and all names are fake.. the story is real. This is what we call a bafoon children. Read on.

Nine in the morning. Three men say to a lady, "Lady! You gotta catch up with us! Time to start drinking!" Lady looks to the little Miss who is also present.
Miss shruggs.
"Lady! We're hungry! MAKE US FOOOOOOD!!"
Lady looks to Miss, "Like to come with me to get groceries?"

To the store they go and come back with ingredients to make spaghetti. Whilst the ladies were out, the men distracted their hunger by means of video games. Miss stayed in the living room with the men whilst Lady tended to the food.

Better catch up.... she thought to herself.

She lined up three shot glasses on the counter, reached into the fridge and poured Jager into all three. She emptied them, lined them up again, and repeated.

The Chocolate man looked up to see her downing the last one, "Hey! You're supposed to be doing those with us!"
"I'm catching up" she replied. "Six down, how many more to catch up?

"You did not just do six!" Said the Chocolate man.
"Oh yes she did" Said Mexican.
"We watched her," Said Miss.

Chocolate man poured another round. "This time, we take them together."

Chocolate man and Lady each shot one, and before Chocolate man could oppose, she did the third.

"BACK TO THE COOKIN!" She said excitedly.

This. Is going to be interesting.

Somewhere in the midst of cooking, she slinked into a mini skirt and her highest leopard print heels. "I wanna be pretty!!" She squealed with delight.

Now cooking in her heels, the men watched carefully, as not to have her break something. This was quite the show.

Once the Vodka Spaghetti was cooked, she dished it out to all her friends then a bowl for herself. "I want to eat outside!" She said.
"No! Said Roommate. "You know what happens when you go outside like this."
"I'll be good! I'll be good!" She screamed.
"We are going to regret this" Said Roommate.
He allowed her outside but only under his supervision. Instantly, "I wanna go for a walk!!"

"NO!" Roommate insisted. He put his bowl down on the porch,scooped her up, and had Chocolate man put her in the bedroom and locked the door.
Next thing you know, the Chocolate man is yelling, "GET OUTSIDE GET OUTSIDE!! SHE WENT OUT THE WINDOW!"

Lady escaped the room through her window, crawling in her mini skirt and still.... wearing the 4 1/2 inch stilettos.

By the time the men got out, she was running down the stairs and across the parking lot, laughing wildly as she went.

Oh wait you missed that- she RAN DOWN THE STAIRS IN HOOKER HEELS WHILST SCHNOCKERED. And we continue-

"But I wanna go on a walk! I'll be good! I'LL BE GOOD!" She plead
"Bitch you're screaming already." Said Roommate.
"I'll take her" Said the Chocolate man.
She squealed again, with delight.

she walked about 15 minutes away until they got to the beach. Then she took off running... same shoes.... through the sand and into the water.
She did not know the Chocolate man was afraid of jellyfish. She did not know she went too far out, almost past the pier.

"Get your ass back here right now Lady!"
She giggled, and tried to swim away in the barely 6 inches of water. Lots of sand was building up. Finally she stood up and began running away again, the Chocolate man trying to run out of the water in his jeans.

He was nice enough to let her wear his shoes home as he carried her's. His feet burning on the sidewalk. As soon as she arrived in the parking lot, she began running up the stairs and instantly into the shower. "Too much sand!" She was yelling and giggling and carrying on.


At about six in the evening, the Lady woke, chipper and uppity as ever. "Who put my clothes on me?" She asked as she walked into the living room.

They all just looked at her and the little Miss chuckled a little.
"Never again,"Roommate said, "never again."


So children, the moral of this story? Don't peer pressure someone who will make you regret it ;)

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