Laugh At My Suffering. It's Funny.

I was walking down beach boulevard, needless to say, the highway next to the beach.  It's about one in the afternoon, maybe two. That's very vital information. Broad daylight. Seriously.

Everyone and their mother knows that all I do all day- all day long- all spare time- for enjoyment- is walk.  I walk everywhere; to the bank, to the grocery, to a friend's house (if I had any here in Mississippi, I might still do that to) and even when I didn't have a car, I walked abot forty-five minutes to and from work.  I don't mind it, and when I was living in small towns up north in Montana and Wyoming, I had no problem walking out at night until about three or four AM just because I had nothing else better to do whilst insomnia insued.

Since I've been back in a bigger city however, everyone fears the worst and is so damn certain that if I walk at night, I will get mugged, raped, or the latter. So, to calm their minds, I started taking walks after I got home from work or sometime after lunch. Damn pessimists.

For those of you not aware, I work graveyard shift as a housekeeper at a hotel resort here in the city.

Back to the story, yesterday I am walking home from my couple hours' walk, and every person I pass up, I come up with different scenarios as to what would happen if all the pessimists were correct. What would happen if the two gentlemen on the bench staring at me as I come closer are actually theives that want my ipod and headphones?  What if that old man sitting in the sand is actually some nasty old pervert wanting to jizz on my leg as I walk by? What if that woman in a stroller really doesn't have a baby in there, but an AK-47 she's just dying to try on a ginger talking by that dresses funny?

You get the picture. Rediculously rediculous thoughts. But you never know..

So as I'm nearing the lighthouse where I am to cross the street to head back to my humble abode, I see a black Pathfinder parked on the side of the sidewalk. As I walk closer, I notice the passenger window is open, and in the driver's side is a Mexican man in his mid thirties or so, and he takes a glance at me and I give a little smile back and am on my way.

I blow up this story in my head wondering if he's the kind of guy that would jump out of his car, bash me over the head with a beer bottle, and stash me in the jeep before anyone cared to call the police. 

No sooner did I think this thought that I saw a shadow out of my peripheral, and I immediately squatted down and protected my head letting out a small "WOAH BUDDY"...

I looked up to see a woman driving past on her bike. Followed by two children on their bikes. Followed by the assumed father. By the time I stood up looking at the children, I was already laughing my ass off at the tardass I just made myself look like, and the father was laughing as well, apologizing that his wife scared the piss out of me.

I kept laughing hysterically, because those that know me, know once I get started, I don't ever stop.... ever.

I told him it was alright and bid them a good day.  Twenty feet ahead of me, I sat on a bench to recoil my nerves.  A few minutes of out right laughter to myself and I got up once again to head home.

Right then, the Pathfinder pulled up, and the Mexican man spoke to me through the passenger window in his best English, " Need a ride to a place?" He smiled at me.

Now I really felt like a shmuch.

"No rita necessita, gracias." I said in my best Spanish.

"De nada," He replied, then drove off waving with a smile. 

I giggled to myself like a madman the whole way home. 

For the love of Baby Rays, don't tell an already delusional paranoid person that the world is out to get her. Just let me keep believeing the world is a safe place ;)