Sunday, April 17, 2016

Friendships Come and Go. Forever.

It has occurred to me recently that I haven't written anything in a while.  Not to say that anything interesting hasn't been happening in my life - quite the opposite. I'm so busy! But I'll take this time to tell the story of a friend who's more of a floater than I am.  I might even go as far as to call her a gypsy.

It was about kindergarten when I met her in cute little Pascagoula, Mississippi.  Long brown hair, big blue eyes, adorable smile and at the time was missing a tooth or two.  We used to play on the playground together and went to each other's birthday parties and had sleepovers.  The works.  She was my best friend. 

Of course boys always come into play and I remember our first fight.  He was a grade older than us.  Skinny as a newborn giraffe, blonde hair, blue eyes. I really liked him and told her and of course she goes off crushing. We were still kids then, about fourth grade, but you know how puppy love goes. 

This went on for what seemed like ever but I feel sure it was only a couple of weeks and finally she runs up to me before school started and hugged me, "I don't think we should fight anymore, you can have him. I want my best friend back!"

I stopped hugging her for a moment and looked at her perplexed and sorrowful at the same time, "See, you don't have to worry about that now. I'm moving this weekend. To Montana."

Her eyes got really big and her mouth opened a little, "Oh." and as the morning ritual began of all the students saying the pledge of allegiance she just stared off into space toward the ground, face expressionless.  When the students started to walk to class, I thought I should say something, "It's okay, my mom has email." She perked up a little and we went to our own classes.

After school that day she ran up and hugged me once more, telling me that she would miss me.  Her mum talked to my mum that night and exchanged emails so that we would be able to keep contact.

It lasted a little while, and I would always ask when we would be able to come back to Mississippi to visit.  Being so young, I didn't understand the concept of expensive ticket prices yet.  We fell off the face of the planet for a while but I thought of her from time to time.  Finally, the summer after 8th grade year and right before my freshman year of high school, we had a trip back to Mississippi due to my sister, eleven years my senior, getting married.  We had a few days of chill time and I asked if I could see her. I didn't have her number but my mum vaguely remembered where she lived. 

I knew it was right behind the elementary school we went to, fantasizing with her many times about running through her back yard to go hang out in her room though we never did.  My mum was weaving through the residential streets until I told her to stop. There it was in all of its glory: the blue house I loved when I was younger. 

My mum walked me up to the doorstep.  Gypsy's mum answered the door excitedly and called her daughter to the door.  Gypsy appeared out of her room, eyes glowing big and put her hands up to her mouth in surprise.  She hugged me and we went out to the backyard.  I don't recall talking about much, if at all. We just existed together as awkward teenagers.  We then went to her room and she was showing me all of her things. Pictures. Boys. Stuff on the walls. our mums came in after a while to get me and we took pictures on her bed before I left. "Y'all must have talked each other's ears off!" Her mum said, smiling at us. We just looked at each other and nodded. Something like that.

Many, many years later, college hit.  Some time in those years, I was recalling that visit.  I got curious, and with new social media, I looked up her name.  There she was.  Long, brown hippie hair, bright blue eyes, a full toothy smile, and dangly as they come.  I sent her a friend request along with a message.  I got a reply within the next day or so and it was her phone number.  I called and heard her voice that was so excited over the phone, "No wayyyyyy!"

I explained to her I went to college for a double major- art and math.  She explained to me that after high school, she sold everything in her room and packed it all up in a van and left for California.  We shared each other's adventures and promised it wouldn't be so long until the next time we spoke again.

Time happens, as it does, and things fade.  She deleted her social medias and her phone number no longer worked.  I was in the world again without my gypsy. After I graduated college, I moved back to Mississippi, having missed it so much in over a decade.  I lived with my mema again in little Pascagoula.  The first week I was there I was driving all over the town, seeing the library, the beach, the downtown. I wondered where my old church and school were.  Having not driven the area myself, I had no idea where I was going.  I didn't have GPS on my phone and no map to guide me.  Past the hospital and across the tracks.  That was all I remembered.  After an hour or so, I happened upon the church, smiling that I found at least one landmark.  Finally I called my mum and asked her.

"You're really close!" Turns out I was a right turn and a couple stop signs away.  After having found the school, I got off the phone and navigated around the back of the school.  There it was again: the blue house.  I rolled up very slowly, but didn't come to a stop.  It wasn't her house any longer.  I didn't know for sure, but I didn't know the people sitting on her porch and that unkempt yard wasn't her mother's. 

I drove back to my mema's, again without my gypsy.

Years later, after having been established in my own apartment, a friend invited me to come join her in her hotel room at the casino.  I didn't live but a ten minute drive away so I got ready and set out.  Approaching the casino I remember wanting to park in the lot across the street as I always had.  The lot I used to park in when I worked at said casino, with the thrift store across the street.  I passed the lot and for whatever reason, decided for the first time to park in the parking garage of the casino.  It wasn't a special day, many spots open but I kept driving until I reached the second floor and decided it was good enough.  I walked to the elevator and waited in the little lobby until the elevator came. 

I remember looking out the glass doors back into the parking garage.  A young woman was walking up with her beau.  Long, brown hippie hair, short and dangly as they get, and it was the skirt that caught my attention.  Satin and green and earthy and floor length.  The couple came closer, talking and smiling.  She walked into the door and I looked at her confused...."Gypsy?" I said slowly. She looked up and squinted then her eyes widened like they do, "Ginger?" Both of our mouths open now in disbelief.  "No way..." We said. And walked in for a small embrace.  From that moment on, our eyes did not break contact.  "How are you?"
"Good you?"
"Yeah. This is my boyfriend."
"Hi," I said, still neither one of us broke eye contact to look at him. We got on the elevator still staring at each other.
"I moved back."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. You don't live in the blue house anymore."
"No, my parents moved out years ago. I moved back too. In Biloxi.'
"Yeah me too."
Still staring at each other, confused looks on our faces, speaking in an airy tone.
"You know each other?" Her boyfriend said, smiling at our awe.
"Yeah," she said softly, "We were best friends in elementary school."

The elevator dings, "Well this is us," He says, and I get off with them.
"It was good seeing you." She said.
"You too."

We walked our separate ways, and every few steps we caught each other looking back at one another.

I made it up to the hotel room and told my gal there. "Well did y'all exchange numbers?" She asked.

NOOOOOOOOO!!! I looked at her sideways, "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT??" And I didn't see her again after that.


Almost a year later, I was moving out of my apartment in the ghetto and into a condo. On one of the last days there, I was pulling up to my apartment in my little beetle and screeched to a stop.  There was a gal walking across the street in front of me.  She mean mugged me and I rolled down the window as fast as I could, "GYPSY!!!" She looked harder, "GINGER!!!"

I jumped out of my car and she ran up and we hugged once more.  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??"
"I LIVE HERE!"
"ME TOO!"
"WHAT???"

Turns out we had been living in kitty corner apartment buildings in the same complex for a year. A whole. Damn. Year. "We have to exchange numbers this time!"
"I know! My boyfriend asked me why we didn't last time!"
We still didn't talk all that much, but she still came to my last party that I had in my condo before I was due to move to China.  She came over, drank with all of my coworkers, and it was everything I wanted the friendship to be at that time. She was due to move back to Jersey that year as well.

I never ended up moving to China, but Sacramento and soon after, Seattle instead.  Her number again wasn't the same, she still didn't have social media, and here I am again in Mississippi, without my gypsy. 

If you're out there and you still use internet from time to time, because I know you're a crazy activist and squatter, I hope you find this and read this and know I came back home. I have all the wishes of finding you again, but as time has told us, we have a habit of happening upon each other at any rate.  Even if I don't know your life now and even if you don't know mine, I still consider you my longest standing friend and I'll always see you in that position in my life. 

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