Okay, So I used to work at a classy establishment. Probably in the top few bests in the small town I lived in for a while in Montana. I worked there for 2 years or so, calling Keno games and after a while, waitressing.
I worked with some awesome ladies that were about as shy as I was- not at all. To keep the story straight between ladies, they were Nick, Charles, and Jules. (Because you know by now I don't use real names in my blogs.) Nick was a tiny little gal, 5 years my senior, and sweet as peaches. Don't let her fool you, you do NOT mess with her. She keeps her man and all her ducks in a row, not a force to recon with. Then there was Charles, a feisty gal who kept you on your toes and had your classic 'wise-guy' attitude with the senior gentlemen. They got a real kick outta her. Then there was Jules- the third comedian who liked to check out 'hot men' with me.
Well, naturally, as all waitresses will, we would talk about our customers as they left. " I liked them! They left a nice tip!" or, "Did you see him? Psh, check me out as I walk away, yeah I'll give you somethin to look at buddy!" and the list goes on. Our favourites were when older couples came in, dressed their Sunday bests for an evening out. Always the cutest to see a couple that has lasted that long, you know. . . until you found out they were brother and sister, not married.
Much much more than the elderly couples, however, were the 'hot men'. Asses hangin outta the pants like mad plumber's crack, bellies spilling over like crazy with NO tee to tuck it in or overalls to hold it up, and the craziest hats/facial hair/ expressions you've ever seen. Sometimes there needed be no words from staff to staff but a subtle look from one to the other across the restaurant and a slight smile or hint of the eyes. All waitresses out there know what I'm talking about. Sometimes, after they'd left, we'd whisper at my Keno table for giggle's sake, "Did you see the mouth on that one?! Like he was coming at me to take a bite!"
But the particular incident disclosed here today is the one that goes in our memory banks as the sight of the history.
I believe it was a day during the week; was a Wednesday or Thursday because of how slow it was. It was during the summer- I remember the stuffiness of the place and us all wishing and hoping we didn't have to work because the sun was shining and we knew the lake would be divine. There were only a couple tables in the whole restaurant and I was cleaning my Keno counter when all of a sudden Jules jumps over to me, "Come quick! Come quick! There's a hottie outside! SERIOUSLY you're going to miss him!" Without another moment's notice, I spring from behind my counter and speed-walk to where she is leading me. "THERE! On the corner! I saw him pass our window and I had to show you!"
I look on the corner and immediately got the attack of laughter that had to be hushed in the establishment. Ever notice how things are always funniest when you have to keep quiet? Out on the sidewalk, waiting at the stoplight (our workplace, on the corner) was an older looking lanky fella with no shirt, hand high on one hip, newspaper in the other, squinting into the sun with, in contrast to his lanky arms and legs, a beer-belly that seeped over his -and get this- cut-off short shorts. We just about died that day. I will never get this image out of my head.
As you can tell, the 'hot men' we were interested in lookin for were the ones you find on, oh, say... People of Walmart. You know the site and it's never pretty.
Whoever you were, if you have a computer, or ever look at things on the internet, this story was for you and just know that you made our day.
I worked with some awesome ladies that were about as shy as I was- not at all. To keep the story straight between ladies, they were Nick, Charles, and Jules. (Because you know by now I don't use real names in my blogs.) Nick was a tiny little gal, 5 years my senior, and sweet as peaches. Don't let her fool you, you do NOT mess with her. She keeps her man and all her ducks in a row, not a force to recon with. Then there was Charles, a feisty gal who kept you on your toes and had your classic 'wise-guy' attitude with the senior gentlemen. They got a real kick outta her. Then there was Jules- the third comedian who liked to check out 'hot men' with me.
Well, naturally, as all waitresses will, we would talk about our customers as they left. " I liked them! They left a nice tip!" or, "Did you see him? Psh, check me out as I walk away, yeah I'll give you somethin to look at buddy!" and the list goes on. Our favourites were when older couples came in, dressed their Sunday bests for an evening out. Always the cutest to see a couple that has lasted that long, you know. . . until you found out they were brother and sister, not married.
Much much more than the elderly couples, however, were the 'hot men'. Asses hangin outta the pants like mad plumber's crack, bellies spilling over like crazy with NO tee to tuck it in or overalls to hold it up, and the craziest hats/facial hair/ expressions you've ever seen. Sometimes there needed be no words from staff to staff but a subtle look from one to the other across the restaurant and a slight smile or hint of the eyes. All waitresses out there know what I'm talking about. Sometimes, after they'd left, we'd whisper at my Keno table for giggle's sake, "Did you see the mouth on that one?! Like he was coming at me to take a bite!"
But the particular incident disclosed here today is the one that goes in our memory banks as the sight of the history.
I believe it was a day during the week; was a Wednesday or Thursday because of how slow it was. It was during the summer- I remember the stuffiness of the place and us all wishing and hoping we didn't have to work because the sun was shining and we knew the lake would be divine. There were only a couple tables in the whole restaurant and I was cleaning my Keno counter when all of a sudden Jules jumps over to me, "Come quick! Come quick! There's a hottie outside! SERIOUSLY you're going to miss him!" Without another moment's notice, I spring from behind my counter and speed-walk to where she is leading me. "THERE! On the corner! I saw him pass our window and I had to show you!"
I look on the corner and immediately got the attack of laughter that had to be hushed in the establishment. Ever notice how things are always funniest when you have to keep quiet? Out on the sidewalk, waiting at the stoplight (our workplace, on the corner) was an older looking lanky fella with no shirt, hand high on one hip, newspaper in the other, squinting into the sun with, in contrast to his lanky arms and legs, a beer-belly that seeped over his -and get this- cut-off short shorts. We just about died that day. I will never get this image out of my head.
As you can tell, the 'hot men' we were interested in lookin for were the ones you find on, oh, say... People of Walmart. You know the site and it's never pretty.
Whoever you were, if you have a computer, or ever look at things on the internet, this story was for you and just know that you made our day.
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