Well, we've been dating for a while now, and I decided it's finally time for an Asian story. He cracks me up... not because he means to. Really. He's just Asian... as he possibly can be, all Americanized and such. Whatever. On to the story.
Pretty much when I get to see the Asian is on his weekends; Mondays and Tuesdays. Usually all that consists of is watching movies, playing video games on rare occasion, watching youtube... you know. Hangin out and stuff. Until the Asian is unleashed in public... now THAT is some funny shit.
So this past particular Tuesday, we went out for a walk. I like my sunlight and get cabin fever easily, he hisses at it. You can only imagine how long these walks do not last. We're walkin to the bank to deposit money which is just halfway across town from the college, no big. Wind is mild- rare for Wyoming- and little Asian bastard is running us into traffic, kicking in windshields, you know, what other Asians do on their free time.
It's a joke, you can laugh now.
We're coming close to the bank, about a block away and there's a HUGE mailbox. "You can fit packages in that mailbox!" He said. " I know!" Because, dude. It was true. This was an OVERLY over-sized mailbox. (Remember this mailbox here in a minute) We walk into the bank.
As I'm waiting for a teller, he goes to sit on one of the big comfy couches at said bank. I watch him sit, and proceed to talk to himself and/or the couch... it went something a little like this.
"What is that in my back?" Looks behind him.
"Oh, wow that's a cushion! That's a nice cushion." Fluffs the cushion.
"Very nice." Looks at it thoughtfully, then slams his back very hard on it.
"Hm." He raises his eyebrows with satisfaction.
I burst out laughing and that was when I realized I'm dating the guy that turns into the old guy that comments on everything in the store. You know? That guy that everyone thinks is a creeper because he's really nice and fraternizes with the lawn and gardening section? THAT guy.
I told him I was watching him, and what a creeper he was. He just smiled. Then proceeded to tell me about how he wants to make this giant mailbox (we're walking past it again) but with some modifications. He wants to be an old guy with a giant mailbox that has the opening like a bear trap. Then the mailman can set the mail on what he thinks is the trigger to this bear trap but be relieved to find out that it's not really going to chop his arm off.
Then keeps going on with his futuristic story menacingly about how it would actually be a bear trap so no one would steal his mail. "No one wants to steal your mail, paranoid!" I jokingly spat at him. "It's a felony, you know! What if some kids, as a joke, tried to take my mail?" He laughed to himself, "It'd be funny. The next day you'd see some five year old dangling from my mailbox. That'll teach him." He chuckles to himself. I laugh hysterically. Who the fuck says that shit?
SO that's just one of many stories of the Asian. Many more to come. Happy reading, everyone!
Pretty much when I get to see the Asian is on his weekends; Mondays and Tuesdays. Usually all that consists of is watching movies, playing video games on rare occasion, watching youtube... you know. Hangin out and stuff. Until the Asian is unleashed in public... now THAT is some funny shit.
So this past particular Tuesday, we went out for a walk. I like my sunlight and get cabin fever easily, he hisses at it. You can only imagine how long these walks do not last. We're walkin to the bank to deposit money which is just halfway across town from the college, no big. Wind is mild- rare for Wyoming- and little Asian bastard is running us into traffic, kicking in windshields, you know, what other Asians do on their free time.
It's a joke, you can laugh now.
We're coming close to the bank, about a block away and there's a HUGE mailbox. "You can fit packages in that mailbox!" He said. " I know!" Because, dude. It was true. This was an OVERLY over-sized mailbox. (Remember this mailbox here in a minute) We walk into the bank.
As I'm waiting for a teller, he goes to sit on one of the big comfy couches at said bank. I watch him sit, and proceed to talk to himself and/or the couch... it went something a little like this.
"What is that in my back?" Looks behind him.
"Oh, wow that's a cushion! That's a nice cushion." Fluffs the cushion.
"Very nice." Looks at it thoughtfully, then slams his back very hard on it.
"Hm." He raises his eyebrows with satisfaction.
I burst out laughing and that was when I realized I'm dating the guy that turns into the old guy that comments on everything in the store. You know? That guy that everyone thinks is a creeper because he's really nice and fraternizes with the lawn and gardening section? THAT guy.
I told him I was watching him, and what a creeper he was. He just smiled. Then proceeded to tell me about how he wants to make this giant mailbox (we're walking past it again) but with some modifications. He wants to be an old guy with a giant mailbox that has the opening like a bear trap. Then the mailman can set the mail on what he thinks is the trigger to this bear trap but be relieved to find out that it's not really going to chop his arm off.
Then keeps going on with his futuristic story menacingly about how it would actually be a bear trap so no one would steal his mail. "No one wants to steal your mail, paranoid!" I jokingly spat at him. "It's a felony, you know! What if some kids, as a joke, tried to take my mail?" He laughed to himself, "It'd be funny. The next day you'd see some five year old dangling from my mailbox. That'll teach him." He chuckles to himself. I laugh hysterically. Who the fuck says that shit?
SO that's just one of many stories of the Asian. Many more to come. Happy reading, everyone!
No comments:
Post a Comment