Billings doesn't know what to do

Another adventure of Queer and I. We realize how ridiculous we are and we also realize we like it.

Just a Sunday afternoon with nothing in particular planned and a head full of ideas. Queer suggests we go to Billings- the nearest town in Montana, as we live in Wyoming for college if you recall. I was thinking of not going, trying to save some money as a poor college student and what not. Quickly I realized I had nothing else better to do. Why not.

Off we went, singing along to the foreign tunes of which the translations we didn't know, screaming at other cars that passed, and him faking to drive off the road and end my life. There was a super sale in Borders that we knew about- the main goal of the day. We walked in and a worker told us, " This is the last day of the sale, everything is a dollar or less." We exchanged looks and didn't utter a word.We were off on our search for epic books and music. I had eleven dollars worth of both and he had about eighteen dollars worth. Music and books we'd never heard of- just summaries and cover artwork we found interesting. We looked at our receipts to see how much we saved- mine came to $190 or so, and his came to a whopping $299 of savings on books and music. We were satisfied with our findings.  Off to the mall. We were British where ever we went, getting glances and such.

I think I mortified a teen in WetSeal, seeing she was wearing ridiculously short shorts SO short her bright pink pockets were awkwardly longer and poking out of the bottom of her shorts. In my British snootiness, I scoffed at her, "Oh dear, your pockets are longer than your shorts. What is the point of that?" She looks at me confused. "Oh is it weird? Have you never seen that before?" I chuckle, "You can see your bright pink pockets. A little too short for my taste." I turn to the front of the line of which I was about to make my purchases. Queer shakes his head and gives me a glance. "Such an interesting place, America?" He says. To which we begin to talk about how inane American boys especially are in their rudeness. It was epic how quickly she got out of line to go back to shopping until we got out of the store.

I had to giggle. Not because I'm a rude being but because she didn't know what to say or how to argue.

Then we trolled the peoples of JCPenny's, Hot Topic, and Aeropostale. In one of the stores we glanced over, a worker at one of the more feminine places asks me so sweetly, "Are you from London?" "Birmingham." I reply with a smile. She gets a quizzical look, "I have no idea where that is." "Haha very close," I said. "That is so cool!" She exclaims then tells me about the deals in the store.

After who knows how many hours of trolling the innocent people of Montana, we are rather famished. It took us about forty-five minutes of looking for a cheap DINNER chinese buffet, but gave up and settled with Denny's.... The waiter, the people around us.... no one had any idea what was going on. We got jacked up on cup of coffee upon cup of coffee and were hysterical by the time it was time to go home. We were busting a gut from the racial slurs we were dropping - innocent ones, I give you my word on that one- to the baby in the diaper thing that was spidering the windows of the establishment. People and their kids these days.... Also another incident I'm not going to talk about. Either way, we were cutting up left and right, crying so hard until we left.

Oh waiter, you know that syrup cup that you're probably wondering if you even gave to me in the first place? I have it.

Too much laughter for a night I tell ya. Well if there is such a thing anywhozers. Back into Bjorn we ride, off into the evening sky, blaring our music, our ears getting boners just listening to music so pleasing we could probably have died happy at that moment. I'm actually quite worn from the day and would just like to leave the story with this- laugh often and cry from laughter as much as possible. Warning: will need much stupidity.