So, as most of you know, I go to the beach every day. Every day it's not terrible weather, that is. I lather up my SPF 1,000,000,000 and lay in the sun. Why you ask? Freckles. Yes, turns out I'm a frecklephile. Don't even know if it exists. All I know is that I feel pretty damn epic with my freckle stache and even more epic when I spot new freckle colonies.
I have nothing to do with my life, fuck you.
So anywho, I lay out there, catching the rays without the cancer and it's actually pretty peaceful. Until you get some of those Southern mommas out there, "TYRELL! GET YO ASS OUT THAT WATAH! THERE'S ECOLI!"
Don't bring him to the beach if you don't want your daily dose of bacteria.
Anywho, that is not what this story is about.
I was laying down under the 90-some degree sun and a mother and her two girls come up and start setting up their own little pow wow near me, about 15 feet away. The girls were about . .. 5? 11? Hell if I know, I can't tell the difference until they're going through puberty. They were two-footers, I'll put it like that.
About fifteen minutes or so later, when all the gals were well adjusted to their surroundings and got settled, the little two-footers went to the water and came back with a bucket full of it to pour over their momma's feet. The littlest of the two looked over to me ( I assume it was me, I was the only one laying there in the vicinity) and asked her momma," Is she sleeping? Why is she sleeping when she can play?"
Her mom, shushing her, perhaps as to not have me hear, " She's not sleepin baby, she's tanning."
I kinda got a giggle out of that. I mean, the woman couldn't have known I was there to freckle, but to tan? I mean, I'm a pasty creature.
"What is tanning momma? What is tanning?"
She was persistant despite her mom's constant shush-ing.
I sat up on my elbows and smiled at the little girl, " It means that I'm as lily white as they come and I was not blessed with such beautiful dark skin as you. The sun makes skin darker."
The little girl cocked her head and her momma said, "That was a compliment, baby. Tell her thank you."
"But momma, daddy said white people don't like us! he lied huh?"
The girls mom looked at her like she was a ghost then quickly looked at me apologetically. I just laughed and told her not to worry.
"TELL HER THANK YOU AND GIT YO ASS BACK IN THE WATER!"
The little girl thanked me then ran off.
The woman smiled at me once more before sitting under her umbrella again.
I couldn't help myself but laughing but also thinking to myself that I saved a little girl from pre-determined racism.
I have nothing to do with my life, fuck you.
So anywho, I lay out there, catching the rays without the cancer and it's actually pretty peaceful. Until you get some of those Southern mommas out there, "TYRELL! GET YO ASS OUT THAT WATAH! THERE'S ECOLI!"
Don't bring him to the beach if you don't want your daily dose of bacteria.
Anywho, that is not what this story is about.
I was laying down under the 90-some degree sun and a mother and her two girls come up and start setting up their own little pow wow near me, about 15 feet away. The girls were about . .. 5? 11? Hell if I know, I can't tell the difference until they're going through puberty. They were two-footers, I'll put it like that.
About fifteen minutes or so later, when all the gals were well adjusted to their surroundings and got settled, the little two-footers went to the water and came back with a bucket full of it to pour over their momma's feet. The littlest of the two looked over to me ( I assume it was me, I was the only one laying there in the vicinity) and asked her momma," Is she sleeping? Why is she sleeping when she can play?"
Her mom, shushing her, perhaps as to not have me hear, " She's not sleepin baby, she's tanning."
I kinda got a giggle out of that. I mean, the woman couldn't have known I was there to freckle, but to tan? I mean, I'm a pasty creature.
"What is tanning momma? What is tanning?"
She was persistant despite her mom's constant shush-ing.
I sat up on my elbows and smiled at the little girl, " It means that I'm as lily white as they come and I was not blessed with such beautiful dark skin as you. The sun makes skin darker."
The little girl cocked her head and her momma said, "That was a compliment, baby. Tell her thank you."
"But momma, daddy said white people don't like us! he lied huh?"
The girls mom looked at her like she was a ghost then quickly looked at me apologetically. I just laughed and told her not to worry.
"TELL HER THANK YOU AND GIT YO ASS BACK IN THE WATER!"
The little girl thanked me then ran off.
The woman smiled at me once more before sitting under her umbrella again.
I couldn't help myself but laughing but also thinking to myself that I saved a little girl from pre-determined racism.
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