WallyWorld Dress Code

It was the end of the school year, and Queer and I went in to WallyHell to look at some stuff. I wanted a delicious sun dress, to be more specific.


Just doing the usual, staring at all the pretty bathingsuits I know that my tatas could never fit into, looking at terribly designed shirts with him, and finally in the middle of the aisle we found them: Sun dresses. He has always hated the style; says they just look like moo moos for skinny people and they don't give anyone a shape.

He might have a point, but if it doesn't require unconfortable pants, buttons, or underwear, I'm all for the comfort of the beautiful moo moo- esque dresses. I was looking through them kinda half-assed like.  A blue one there, a red one here, some with patters... I could pull off whatever I wanted but none of them were just... you know... BAM! Until I found it- deep in the pile of moo moos- the sexiest Sun dress ever! It was a black and white stripped one, the stripes meeting at the bust, and slanting downward in a triangle type dealio.

Whatever, it was a damn dress.

So, I wander off with him to Manworld, all the while looking for someone to let me into the dressing rooms.
"I'm going back to that lady that was near the dresses. Maybe she has a key." I said, referring to the woman wearing the uniform blue shirt and khakis.

It didn't take much to find her- she was still relatively in the same spot, in the teen section a ways from where I found my delicious dress. I approched her, as you approach all employees of this establishment... waiting for the deer in headlights look as if they've done something wrong.

"Hi I was wondering if I could get into a changing room?" I asked.
"I don't work here."

I immediately let out a cackle then ran like a madman in the direction of my Queer. I couldn't stop laughing until he asked, "She doesn't work here does she?"
I continued laughing and hid behind him as if she would come and strike me with the hand of Zeus.

I saw a gal with a scanner in hand, folding up men's clothes. "For the love of God, please tell me you work here? "
She started laughing, "Yeah, you need into a changing room?" She asked, gesturing at my dress.

I got into a dressing room, but pretty sure I scared the customers walking around on the outside of it.
"Bitch, shut up, you're scaring people." Said Queer.
I stood outside of it to let Queer tell me what he thought. "Moo moo." Was all he said.

"What about you? Any oppositions to this dress?" I asked the REAL employee.
"Dude that looks awesome."
"I'll take it."

I was to a dull roar by the time I got to the checkout to purchase my dress.  Moral of this story? If you're going to go to WallyWorld, (and you know what store I mean) for the love of all that is merciful, do NOT wear the uniform. Seriously, who wakes up saying to themselves, Yeah, this feels like a plain blue shirt with ironed khakis kinda day, ??